The Mirror

A silken-eared Spaniel, descended from King Charles II of England, happened to glance into a mirror that was leaning against the wainscoting in his mistress's house. Seeing his own reflection, he mistook it for another dog outside and declared, "I can chew up any such milksoppy pup as that, and I will." Fueled by bravado, he dashed out of the house and around to the side where he imagined his rival to be.

At that very moment, a Bulldog was lounging in the sun, showcasing his impressive teeth. The Spaniel came to an abrupt halt, filled with dire consternation. After assessing the Bulldog from a safe distance, he spoke up: "I don't know whether you cultivate the arts of peace or if your flag is raised for battle. If you are a civilian, the windows of this house flatter you worse than a newspaper, but if you are a soldier, they do you a grave injustice."

The Bulldog, finding the Spaniel's speech unintelligible, merely smiled politely. However, this civil gesture terrified the Spaniel so much that he dropped dead in his tracks.